i decided NOT to turn on my computer first thing upon waking. since returning to korea this fall, i've slipped back into that habit more than i care to admit. instead, this morning i found a spot on my plastic, orange couch and sat for 20 minutes, gently guided by jack kornfield's sitting practice meditation. immediately i felt like i was giving myself a giant welcome home hug. i can't tell you how good it felt to just sit and breathe, comforted by jack's kind, familiar voice. although, like clockwork, waves of thinking, planning, and remembering started to roll on through after about five minutes, often accompanied by some pretty strong emotions. i found great refuge in the following acknowledgment and beautiful reminder:
"as you feel the breath, sometimes the background waves become big and an experience will carry you off. when you notice this, you can learn to be mindful of these experiences too in the same way that you acknowledge the breath, you can gently acknowledge or name the experience: planning, remembering, sadness, excitement, or longing, joy, pain or pleasure. be mindful of these waves of experience just as you have the breath. feel it as a whole wave of energy that moves through body and mind. give it space to open or change as it will. and when the wave of energy has passed, take a moment's pause, sense the space of awareness and return gently back to the breath. this breath. this moment. now you can be graciously mindful of the breathing as it comes and goes. centered, still, or you can be graciously mindful of the big waves that come, naming them gently, giving them space to arise in body and mind and pass away as they do. and return to the breath. sit like a buddha at peace in the center of all things. easy. gracious. and wakeful. again and again rest in the breath. again and again notice the waves of experience that rise and fall. rest at peace in the midst of them all."
- quotation from jack kornfield's cd: "guided meditation: six essential practices to cultivate love, awareness, and wisdom"